Look Before You Sleep
by Berry's Ambitions
Summary: [One-shot] With their ladies out trick-or-treating with the kids, Doug invites his friends over for a night of Halloween fun. What happens when they find a game under the title of 'Slender? [Crack]


_**Look Before You Sleep**_

_**By Berry's Ambitions**_

**A/N: My second Halloween fic for HHE! After my dramatic, slightly depressing one-shot from last year, I thought this could be rather fun. And I was right. XD  
**

**This is not only AU. It's crack. Pure, unadulterated, OOC crack that is not connected to any other my other stories whatsoever. Don't ask for a backstory, 'cause I got nothin'. Lol. I hope you guys enjoy it regardless and that none of the jokes offend anyone! As for the _Slender_ game, well, hopefully those new to it will be able to follow along! It isn't too difficult to find info on it anyway. Try YouTube.**

**On with the fic!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own _The Hills Have Eyes, Slender _or any other franchises mentioned here.  
**

**WARNING: Language, suggestive themes, violence and crude humor.**

* * *

"We're out of Mountain Dew."

Doug stared at Goggle in disbelief. "Seriously? I bought three liters. You guys can't possibly have drank it all in one night."

"Well, we did," Lizard announced, flopping back onto the sofa. "And for God's sake, can someone change the damn CD? This dubstep is givin' me a headache."

Bobby glared at him, offended. "I'd like to see you find something better." He ejected his Skrillex CD from Doug's laptop.

"I don't." Chameleon was leaning against the wall, eyeing Lizard critically. "All of _your_ music has something to do with suicidal tendencies or something about hillbillies having sex with their sisters in cars."

"Just 'cause you don't like country don't give ya the right to shit on it," Lizard shot back. "'Least I don't listen to James Blunt."

"Hey, it was one CD by him," the older mutant countered. "Nothing wrong with that."

Doug couldn't but chime in, "Wasn't that the one Missy made you throw away?"

"You could say that," Chameleon mumbled, crossing his arms.

Goggle, who'd been sitting cross-legged on the floor, sighed. "Clearly we can't come to an agreement over who's music is most tolerable. My vote is that we just do somethin' else."

It was at the exact moment that Pluto decided to chuck an empty bottle at his head.

"On the bright side-" Goggle shot his cousin a dirty look. "-I think we found our Mountain Dew culprit."

"So what _should_ we do?" Doug asked, glancing at the men around him. It was Halloween night, after all, and he didn't want to spend it arguing over things like soda and James Blunt. The girls had decided to take the kids trick-or-treating, leaving their significant others to find a way to entertain themselves.

Perhaps having it overnight at his house hadn't been the wisest of decisions.

"We could watch a movie," Bobby suggested.

Lizard wrinkled his nose. "Naw. There ain't nothin' on TV and I already gone through Doug's movie collection." He shook his head at their host in mock-pity. "And I thought you had better taste than that, Bukowski. For shame."

"I thought you said you liked _Mad Men_!" Doug protested, his pride stung.

"No, I said I liked Christina Hendricks. Huge difference."

"That's not the only thing that's huge about Christina Hendricks," Chameleon snickered.

Lizard nudged his cousin in the ribs. "Hey, lay off. I like her 'cause she can act, not because of her tits."

At the word 'tits' Pluto erupted into a fit of laughter. Pluto's laughter caused Bobby to laugh, which caused Goggle to laugh for whatever juvenile reason.

Doug rubbed his forehead, trying not to let his irritation get the better of him. "We can always play _Call of Duty_."

Bobby shook his head. "Played it last night at home."

"Controls too hard," Pluto grunted.

"I don't like war games," Goggle stated.

Doug looked over at Lizard and Chameleon, hoping for input, but at that moment Chameleon was mimicking Christina Hendricks' breathy voice. "'I don't think any woman in the world can get tired of being compared to Marilyn Monroe'!"

"Fuck you," Lizard grumbled. "She don't sound anything like that."

The disturbing thing was, Chameleon actually _did_ sound like her. Doug, however, was clever enough not to get involved.

"Tell you what," he announced, trying to shut them all up, "I downloaded a game last weekend on my laptop. It's called _Slender_. I haven't tried it out yet, but I hear it's pretty scary." He thought for a moment. "Well, scary for the average person. I was thinking we can take turns or something."

The rest of the guys looked at each other, perplexed.

After all they'd been through, how scary could this game be?

* * *

"RUN, RUN, RUN!" Lizard screamed, flailing his arms.

"QUICK, JUMP OVER THE CHAIR!" Chameleon urged, just as loud.

"YOU CAN'T JUMP, REMEMBER?" Doug yelled back, frantic.

"WHY NOT?" Chameleon wanted to know, cowering behind the chair.

"I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE MY CHARACTER'S OBESE!" Doug shot back, holding the walk button down with more force than required.

"WELL," Bobby declared, "THAT EXPLAINS WHY YOU CAN ONLY GO FOUR STEPS WITHOUT PANTING LIKE YOU JUST RAN A MARATHON!"

On the screen, Doug's character turned around to face Slenderman, albeit from a distance. This earned six very unmanly shrieks. Doug slammed his finger down on the walk button, forcing his character to sprint away.

"Where's the last note?" Goggle wailed, shielding his eyes.

"I don't know, stapled to Slenderman's ass?" Doug snapped.

"NOOOO!" Pluto bellowed, slapping the table to get the table to get their table to get their attention.

"WE JUST FUCKING DIED!" Chameleon shrieked. Onscreen, they were greeted by Slenderman, static engulfing the screen, interrupted by the occasional image of Slenderman's face - or lack there of.

Hell immediately broke loose.

With a wild howl, Pluto slammed the laptop shut and threw it against the wall. Sparks flew everywhere, the machine snapping in half.

As if in slow motion, Doug fell to his knees, letting out a 'no' that put Darth Vader to shame.

Chameleon intervened, trying to soothe his youngest brother. "Pluto, Pluto! Calm down, it's just a-"

No one had ever seen Pluto's fist move so fast. Chameleon went sprawling onto the floor, clutching his bloody nose and cursing to the heavens. Pluto, meanwhile, dove for the couch, knocking it over and rolling out of the room.

"I can't believe this!" Lizard cried, sifting through the shattered remains of Doug's laptop. "My porn was stashed on there!"

Doug's head snapped up, murder in his eyes. "Your _what?"_ he growled.

"I don't even wanna know," Chameleon muttered, trying to stop the bleeding using one of Doug's curtains.

"Forget it!" Doug exploded, startling the men for the umpteenth time. "Screw this. Let's all just... go to bed." He massaged his temples, trying to stop his oncoming headache. It didn't work.

"What about your expensive irreplaceable items?" Goggle asked.

"Not helping," Doug told him. "Anyway... Pluto can take the couch. I think he's earned it. Cham and Bobby, you can have the basement. Lizard, do you mind sleeping in the living room too?"

* * *

Turned out they all wound up sleeping in the living room.

Except they weren't sleeping.

"I have to pee."

"Bobby, if you have to go, just go."

A pause. "I, uh... I don't feel comfortable wandering around the house in the middle of night."

Doug sat up, squinting at his brother-in-law irritably. "Give me a break. You've been visiting this house since you were eleven years old."

"I'd still like it if someone went with me," Bobby said sheepishly.

"I wouldn't wanna wander around Doug's house in the middle of the night either," Lizard added with a smirk. "Lord knows what goes on in his bathroom."

Pluto let out a whine.

"Oh, for God's sake!" Chameleon glowered at him. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

"I dunno." Pluto shrugged.

"Can't we just turn the lights on?" Goggle suggested.

"Then how are we supposed to sleep?" Doug challenged, slipping his glasses on.

"Well it's pretty obvious that no one's gonna be sleepin' any time soon."

"Anyone gotta flashlight?" Bobby inquired, glancing around.

Doug felt like tearing his hair out. "Why the hell would any of us-"

Chameleon turned his flashlight on from beneath his chin. His illuminated face prompted six even less-manly screams and a very loud fart.

"PLUTO!" Lizard roared, throwing a pillow at his cousin's head. "DIDN'T MAMA TEACH YA BETTER MANNERS?"

"To be fair," Goggle pointed out, "he did warn us first."

Doug was more focused on Chameleon's revelation. "And _why_ do you carry that thing around with you?"

"I found it conveniently placed on the floor, actually..."

"So..." Lizard frowned. "Who put it there?"

They all looked at each other.

"Good news." Bobby's face was very pale. "I no longer have to use the washroom."

* * *

It was decided that sleep was no longer an option. So instead, the boys went to buy more Mountain Dew.

"Who knew 7/11 would be open at three in the morning?" Doug commented. He was feeling much more relaxed now - cheerful, even - thanks to the fresh air and use of his muscles. As for the flashlight, it turned out to have simply fallen off the coffee table.

As for the rug, well, Bobby had promised to pay for the damage.

Lizard smirked at him. "You went down the street to buy a sub. Who says we were _allowed_ in?"

The aghast look on Doug's face caused his friends to burst into a giggle fit. "Relax, Doug." Chameleon grinned at him. His smugness would have been aggravating had it not been for the large bandage on his nose. "7/11 is always open. You of all people should know that."

Doug rolled his eyes, stepping forward to unlock the door. "Whatever. All I know for sure is that next year, I think it should be our turn to take the kids out."

"Game still bothering you?" Pluto asked as they stepped inside.

Doug snorted, flicking the light switch. "Don't be ridiculous. That game was stupid and we overreacted. It's the laptop I'm pissed about."

"Sorry..."

Doug walked into the kitchen, the others trailing lazily behind him. "Well, you should be. You're lucky that all my work was backed..."

There was a very long, uncomfortable pause. "What?" Bobby poked him in the back. "Doug, man, this isn't funny."

As if in reply, Doug raised a trembling finger in the direction of the fridge.

There, taped to the fridge, was a note.

* * *

"Doug?"

Not even bothering to lift his head, the human male grumbled, "What is it, Goggle?" He really wasn't in the mood for talking after spending an entire night cowering in the basement.

"Um... I realized somethin'." He sounded nervous. "We didn't actually _read_ the note, did we?"

Doug almost stopped breathing.

"Didn't I head Lynn say somethin' 'bout groceries before she left...?"

Halloween of 2012 was never acknowledged by the six again.

**~The End~**

* * *

**A/N: Considering the fact this was my first year I didn't go trick-or-treating, reviews would a lovely treat. :)**


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